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Sex joke

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The pastor asked them, "Well, were you able to get through the two weeks without being intimate? When she bent over to pick it up, I was over come with lust and took advantage of her right there.

More jokes about: sex. A little boy walks into his parents' room to see his mom on top of his dad bouncing up and down.

The mom sees her son and quickly dismounts, worried about what her son has seen. She dresses quickly and goes to find him.

The son sees his mom and asks, "What were you and Dad doing? This elderly lady went to the doctor for a check-up.

Everything checked out fine. Crush the Viagra into a powder. When you are giving him coffee, stir it into the coffee and serve it.

Weeks later the old lady returned. She was frowning and the doctor asked her what was wrong. She shook her head.

I did as you said and he got up and ripped his clothes off right then and there and we made mad love on the table. Vote: share joke Joke has More jokes about: age , doctor , husband , old people , sex.

A young man was showing off his new sports car to his girlfriend. She was thrilled at the speed. And as he gets up to , she peeled off all her clothes.

Unable to keep his eyes on the road, the car skidded onto some gravel and flipped over. The naked girl was thrown clear, but he was jammed beneath the steering wheel.

I'm naked and my clothes are gone! Still holding the shoe between her legs, she pleaded to the service station proprietor, "Please help me! My boyfriend's stuck!

More jokes about: car , dirty , sex. A Male patient just recovered successfully from a sex threatening health attack.

He was wearing an oxygen mask over his mouth and nose and laying on hospital bed. An young nurse came to cleanse his body with sponge.

More jokes about: dirty , health , hospital , sex. An old football player was dying. So he called her wife and told her: "My dearest you see I'm dying.

I told him it was in the bathroom. Be strong honey. I love you, too! This man was sitting quietly reading his paper one morning, peacefully enjoying himself, when his wife sneaks up behind him and wacks him on the back of his head with a huge frying pan.

Man: "What was that for? Marylou was the name of one of the horses I bet on. Three days later he is once again sitting in his chair reading and she repeats the frying pan swatting.

Man: "What the hell was that for this time? By the time Dave pulled into the small town every hotel room was taken. He finally pulled up to the very last hotel and went into the office.

But to tell you the truth, he snores so loud that people in adjoining rooms have complained in the past. I'm not sure it'd be worth it to you.

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Sex Jokes. Check out our professionally curated categories for hilarious adult jokes and sex jokes. Set your filter on Risque and Uncensored to browse dirty knock-knock jokes, inappropriate jokes and one liners from professional joke writers.

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Just understand that there will be sex here at seven o'clock every night More jokes about: food , marriage , sex , wedding.

A man is in a hotel lobby. He wants to ask the clerk a question. As he turns to go to the front desk, he accidentally bumps into a woman beside him and as he does, his elbow goes into her breast.

They are both startled and he says, "Ma'am, if your heart is as soft as your breast, I know you'll forgive me.

More jokes about: sex. A mother is in the kitchen making dinner for her family when her daughter walks in. One night they go into their bedroom, they kiss and hug, and have sex.

What do you get when you do that? Bill and Marla decided that the only way to pull off a Sunday afternoon quickie with their year-old son in the apartment was to send him out on the balcony and order him to report on all the neighborhood activities.

The boy began his commentary as his parents put their plan into operation. More jokes about: car , doctor , kids , sex. A father and his 6-year-old son are walking down the street, and they come across two dogs having sex.

The boy is shocked by what he sees and asks his father "Daddy, what are they doing? The next day, the son bursts into his parents' room and sees them having sex.

The father jumps up and quickly covers himself. Knowing he's in for an interesting talk, walks downstairs with him and they sit at the dining room table.

His son asks him "Daddy, what were you and mommy doing? More jokes about: baby , dad , dog , sex. A young man and his date were parked on a back road some distance from town.

Give me the drugs. Steeling himself to leave nothing out, he proceeded to describe for her all the variations of human sexuality he could conjure, careful to impress upon her the joys and responsibilities of intercourse and procreation.

When finally Grandpa was done pontificating, the little girl stood frozen, as though nailed to the spot, and looked at him with her mouth open, eyes wide in amazement.

Seeing she was overwhelmed, he asked what caused her sudden curiosity. How do you know if a redneck is married?

If there are two spit stans on both sides of a truck. Vampire: I found a used tampoon and wanted to make tea…. A woman was having sex in an apartment 20 floors high with another man.

She then heard her husband coming… she told her lover to stay like a robot and not to move. Husband: What is this? Girl: What is the opposite of laughing?

Boy: F-cking. Girl: What? Boy: Yes! Next post: Funny Clean Jokes. Previous post: 42 Funny One Liner Jokes. I hope these beautiful jokes help cheering you up!

Funny Sex Jokes by Stephen on March 26, A man calls emergency: Come immediately, my little son has swallowed a condom! After five minutes, the same man calls back: It is ok, I found another one.

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