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Plus, being giving and generous towards her may evoke some warm fuzzy feelings for you, and may inspire her to reciprocate next time.

Build up some anticipation by sending her this article, or a sexy text. Tell her how excited you are to lavish attention on her gorgeous body.

A good fingering requires good lube! I recommend high-quality silicone lubricant like Pjur Eros Bodyglide Original.

Silicone lubes feel best against the skin. Spend plenty of time kissing her, slowly removing her clothes, and running your hands all over her body.

Leave her underwear on, and trace your fingertips lightly over the fabric. You want her to be squirming with anticipation before actually getting down to business.

Get in a comfortable position that gives you good leverage with both hands. Use your dominant hand on her clitoris, and your non-dominant hand inside of her.

A safe place to start is drawing circles around her clitoris with your thumb, and using two fingers to pump in and out of her vaginal canal.

Start off slow and gentle, and gradually build up to more intensity. Fingering your lady can be an awful lot of fun. Vanessa Marin is a licensed psychotherapist specializing in sex therapy.

Have questions about sex? You can reach her at vanessa. It gets you excited that something might happen and then you're just sitting there awkwardly.

Remember, it's a finger and not a penis. Use that to your advantage and hit her clit, then go into her vagina, or move your fingers around her vulva.

It truly is a choose your own adventure of sex acts. No, there's not just one fingering position. Victoria recommends having the person you're fingering lie on top of your fingers or hand and push themselves against it.

Not only is it hot, but it's also another great way to feel out where they like to be touched without having to specifically ask. You have two hands.

Use them both. Whether that means you're playing with her boobs with one hand or running your fingers through her hair while touching her clitoris, you have two hands at your disposal.

Don't waste them. So many queer friends have been scratched by a girl and yes, that means scratched in their vagina , and it is the worst.

Kendra says she's even had someone draw blood and then ask if she was on her period. She had to tell them, "No, hon. You clawed my vagina.

Wash your hands, please! Molly C. I should emphasize, a very chemically sensitive part of my body. Once that chemistry is thrown off balance, even a little, it ruins my whole week.

It would be so hot if you respected my health and took two seconds to wash your hands before getting in there.

Fortunately, there is a simple solution. You just need to rub her clitoral hood instead. This way her clitoral hood acts as a sort of buffer between your finger and you can still provide her with lots of pleasurable stimulation.

And if you do it right, you can give your girl a minute orgasm. The get set up, your partner needs to lie down on her back with her legs spread open and she needs to get relaxed.

Then you need to get into a comfortable position sitting down to her right side with your left leg bent and over her stomach and your right leg under her right leg.

Your touch should be as light as possible. This is actually what you are aiming for! If you find a variation of the above technique to work best, then please stick with that and use our advice as a set of guidelines about the best way to finger a girl, not rigid instructions.

Experiment with lying down beside your partner while performing it or focus on a different area of her clit or whatever works best for both of you.

Note: While there is lots of praise online for the techniques, there has also been some critical investigative journalism by Bloomberg on the organization that provides courses in Orgasmic Meditation.

I would advise you to read this investigation before engaging with them. Obviously, you know how sensitive the tip of her clit is. What you may not know is how far her clitoris extends inside her body [ 5 ].

So, why not play with parts of her clit that usually get little attention by massaging and gently squeezing it. Do not squeeze the exposed part of her clit; this will hurt her!

Start off with very gentle pressure and see how she reacts. Then increase or decrease the amount of pressure you use based on her feedback.

You can also lightly jerk it up and down. While her labia are not nearly as sensitive as her clit, there are a lot of very enjoyable ways you can pleasure and stimulate them.

Slowly rubbing them up and down like in the above diagram can bring her close to orgasm without her climaxing, which makes for great foreplay.

This makes her labia the perfect option for focusing on until her clit calms down and stops being so sensitive.

Using either her own natural lubrication or some from a bottle will make stroking her labia feel even more pleasurable for her.

Many women first learn to masturbate through dry humping or grinding or rubbing against a pillow, toy, blanket or bed [ 6 ]. It might even be how she experienced her first orgasm [ 7 ], so why not use this to your advantage when trying to make her orgasm?

Here are two ways you do just that:. The basic technique involves you taking a pearl necklace or any necklace that has a lot of round beads on it and slowly and gently pulling it between your girls labia so that it runs over her vagina.

The only way to find out how she enjoys being fingered by you is to either experiment or to simply ask her. With that being said, one way that many women enjoy being fingered is from behind, on the opposite side of her vagina to her G Spot, as demonstrated above.

The G-spot is one of the most sensitive spots inside her vagina; although, many women also find the A-spot to be quite stimulating.

Her G-spot is located around two inches inside her vagina. If you slide your fingers in and curve them around her pubic bone, you should find her G-spot.

This spot is actually a place where you can access her clitoris internally [ 11 ]. This is her G-spot. She may enjoy some anal action too.

If she does, then anal fingering is a great place to start, before progressing further to full anal sex. Saliva will usually work fine, but keeping some lubricant nearby is a good idea.

Coat your finger and the outside of her ass with some lube, then slowly press your lubed finger into her. Make sure to take it extra slow and listen to her feedback both what her body says, and what she says.

Instead, you should maintain a soft pressure to allow her sphincter to relax around your finger. Once it does, then you can slowly push it in and out.

While fingering her anally, you can also rub her clit with your spare hand for extra stimulation. Important — Do not touch her vagina after fingering her anally.

You will be bringing bacteria from her anus to her vagina which will give her bacterial vaginosis or something worse.

Wash your hand s thoroughly after any anal action. This also applies to anything else you put in her ass. If she wants more anal action, then you may want to check out the Guide on how to have anal sex.

One idea is to use your fingers to penetrate here while focusing the vibrator on her clit like in the demonstration above.

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