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Rub it for luck: Giant wooden penis celebrated at Japanese fertility festival

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Hint: It's his cock. Within the trinity of Hinduism, Shiva is the god of destruction and change. How much of that destruction is wrought with his four arms and how much comes from his manhood?

We leave that to the reader to decide. In Hindu mythology, when Shiva is killed, the goddess Kali squats over his body, rips out and eats his organs, and then mounts his still erect manrod to complete the cycle of creation.

It's also worth noting that in most Hindu art and temples, his "linga" is usually depicted without the rest of him, the disembodied member being worshiped all by itself:.

The object in the foreground is a "yoni" literally: vagina and they are most often shown together, in full penetration:.

Out of a billion or so Hindus in the world, about million belong to various sects that focus on Shiva, Kali and the giant Lingam. Worshiping the linga is pretty straightforward.

First, you have to make it wet, either by pouring water or milk over it. Then just say your prayers and meditate. Smaller, pocket-sized lingas should be held in the hand and rubbed while meditating, and you're well on your way to a religious experience.

According to legend, about years ago two local politicians in Tawarayama had such a hate-on for each other that eventually the feud came to death threats.

In order to protect his family, a Mr. Oji disguised his son as a girl and hid him in the local shrine. Eventually the other guy, Mr.

Sue, found the boy, cut off his head, and to prove his identity a head isn't enough? Hearing about the killing, the locals immediately took to making wood and ceramic phalluses, to replace the boy's missing member at this point, you have to wonder if the boy would have benefited more from a prosthetic head, but back to the story.

Discovering the joy of making cocks, the locals just never stopped, eventually getting into a cock arms race with each other.

Today, the woods surrounding the shrine are forested with as many stone boners as trees, all pointing gloriously up to the heavens above. Quite respectable, thank you very much.

The shrine sees thousands of visitors each year. Mostly tourists, they come from nearly every country to see the forest o' phalli, some of which stand five feet tall.

The shrine is a popular destination for men suffering from erectile problems, and is even more popular with their wives. In addition to the usual Shinto ceremony of bowing and praying, worshipers can buy smaller--and by smaller we mean life-sized--ceramic dongs to place in the shrine as an offering.

After many years and thousands of visitors, the shrine is currently overflowing with them. Also, for best results, be sure to write your prayers and wishes on your cock.

Most historians agree that fertility and phallus worship existed in prehistoric central and Eastern Asia, influencing the pre-Buddhist and pre-Shinto religions of the area.

The Hounen Fertility Festival has been going for so long in Komaki that no one really remembers why they do it. But boy do they do it. Get there early every March The main event starts at 2PM, but they start giving away free booze at 10AM.

That's right, they start tapping barrels full of sake even before lunch. Then at 2PM, the crowd staggers to the Shinmei Shrine where the mega dong is kept.

Shinto preists then give blessings to the wavering crowd, mount the thing on their shoulders, and everyone starts down the street. When they reach the Tagata Jinja shrine, they spin the giant cock around in circles over their heads, threatening all around with degrees of mega penetration.

At about 4PM they place the cock in its new home, and pray for a fruitful year. And while you're at the Tagata Jinja Shrine, don't forget to rub the sacred balls for good luck:.

Min was an ancient Egyptian god of fertility. In Egyptian art and statues, Min is always shown holding his cock with his left hand and a threshing flail in his raised right hand.

A flail, in case you're wondering, is a kind of whip used to separate grain, or judging from the erection, to beat the shit out of some particularly adventurous woman who's been naughty and needs to be punished.

This involved a ritual in which the new Pharaoh would prove that he could ejaculate, and Min was there to make sure the King wasn't shooting blanks.

We're not sure what the punishment was if the King couldn't fire one off, and we don't want to know.

You know, some things are more important than size. Centuries ago Egypt converted to Islam, with a few Christians and Jews thrown in, so no one really follows Min's cock anymore.

But at one time Min was a principal deity of the entire Egyptian empire, with hundreds of thousands worshiping him.

Today the modern city of Akhmim is built over the ruins of Min's temple, where excavation only just started in , but ancient sources suggest that statues of him could be 55 feet tall or more, giving the old boy about eight feet of god rod.

At Min's temple, worshipers would rub the leaves of the Egyptian lettuce plant Lactuca serriola , some varieties of which are tall, straight and round, and which would emit a milky white sap.

The sap contained a chemical called lactucarium, which in large doses has an effect on the body similar to cocaine. At the harvest festival each year, naked, geeked-out Egyptians would play various games, the most important of which was climbing a giant pole, with special prizes for anyone who reached the top.

We'd have thought the award would go to the person who could climb up and down the poll over and over again in a rhythmic motion, but we didn't write the rules.

Above is Drukpa Kunley, a 16th century Buddhist Monk who lived in what is now the country of Bhutan, or as he was more commonly known, The Divine Madman.

Kunley spent his entire life, after becoming a monk in his late teens, traveling the countryside dispensing his wisdom and enlightenment to as many young ladies as he could get his hands on.

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